three minutes worth of writing

...because I have to do it when I can do it, even when I have to leave the house in three minutes to accumulate more bruises on my legs playing the most ridiculous and addictive sport ever created. So this is a freewrite, first draft, completely random, please forgive me. Playing ultimate twice a week is literally the only time when I am not shaky with anxiety about school. I don't know why I'm not handling stress this year, but I'm not. Maybe I've never handled the stress of teaching very well, only it took a summer of returning to my self, stripped of anxiety, to see that this state of existence isn't normal. I keep thinking if I get a little more organized, if I find a better system for this, if I reteach that, it will all come together. And things do come together, but I am too quick to dismiss them. Woe is me. What a wanker. Enough of that. Now I've used four minutes, I'm going to be late, and I haven't even told you about the light-up frisbee and headbands we got for our night games. And all I can think of is "would my students be able to find the main idea of this paragraph?" Would I, halfway through teaching that lesson, admit to them that there actually is none, or would I bluff my way through it? How much of my day is spent bluffing? Why am I not stopping writing? Why in the world am I going to post this to be read? Gotta keep the blog alive, I guess...I'm off...